Lazy Boy

Been asking myself over and over again. "How did i fall in love with you?". i do not like lazy boys, and im sure not every girls do. but why am i falling for you? or is it just my feeling and my negative thoughts. i Hate this.. i Hate this situation. Sometimes i think that maybe you'r not the one for me, because you' r not there when i need you, i'm the one who always there when you need me. i always there when you need me, am i a fool to love you that much? you know that im not a superwomen, maybe God give me all this temptation because He want me to be super women.. but Why?? why this pain never end God? will i get happyness from him in the future.. or just like YOU said that we're going to be seperated first but at the end, you'll make us one..
hope that will happen to me.. im so confused with this 'love' situation.. i want to run away. i hate too see you, i hate that sudenly you care about me, and suddenly you dont care, and i hate that you always choose your friends over me. i thought after stop being your girl, and becaming your friend, you'r going to treat me the same like you treat others, but like the same, i'm just a trash.. see.. this is NOT good. i should have someone that not make me think that im a trash for his life.

I guess im just leaving alone for the rest of my life. I'm tired of getting hurt. i hate to care 'bout others but no one cares about me. i HATE to LEAVE ALONE in this world :((

I NEED to be Loved by you.. why it has to be you??WHY????
i want to be loved without begging it.. i want to be begged..=P

someday we'll be together.. :x and im here if you need me..=)
i love you